The partial talk

So I had to have the conversation today, you know the one. How is the doctor going to take the baby out? They have been asking this question for weeks and I have been side stepping the question big time, who wants to really have this talk, but I sucked it up and did half of it. Jordan wanted to know if I was going to have to have a needle in my back, which is what prompted the question to begin with this time. So I explained that yes that is called an epidural (not sure where she got that information from). I then went on to explain proper terminology of a woman's private areas and that this is how the doctor takes the baby out. I wish I had a camera for the look on Kaleigh's face. Jordan just kind of took it all in, but not Kaleigh the look was priceless. So she then had to lift the covers and point to herself and ask again if this is what I was talking about, just so she would be clear. I then had to explain how this is a very private area on our body and that only Mommy and Daddy and the doctor are allowed to see this area and some day their husbands. To which Kaleigh said not friends, so I said no, not friends. I explained how God made girls with these special parts in order for the babies to come out that way, I also explained briefly about a c-section, but they were clever enough to figure out that I hadn't had any since I don't have any scars. They could however relate to the c-section scar and surgery part as they wanted to know if it was like when Jordan had surgery on her eye. They give you sleep medicine and you wake up and hve a baby. So I said no becuase they give you medicine so you don't feel it so much but you are awake the whole time. Kaleigh was still a little confused and I could honestly see the wheels turning when she asked "How do you get the baby out if you can't feel anything?" So I said "you have to push it out" to which she sat up in bed spread her legs and began to bend over and push. I knew it was coming. Now of course the look on Jordan's face was totally bewildered like she wanted nothing to do with it and she was sorry she asked. It was priceless. So I said yes that is how you do it. They of course asked about boy private parts which I said they needed to wait for Daddy for that conversation, yes I chickened out of that part, but they will learn soon enough when the baby comes. They also asked about some other very big questions, boobs, hair etc. I had to end the conversation at that and say those things will come when they get to be teenagers. Kaleigh is still not sure what that means, but I said lets just leave it at that, you both have a long way to go before you become a teenager. Then we had to go through cousins to see who would be a teenager first and who would have hair on their privates. It was time to say goodnight, in no uncertain terms.